Body dysmorphia- A mental illness involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance. To me, that definition sounds a little extreme but maybe its a blind spot for me. You know when you see something, hear something, feel something all the time & it’s just so natural to you? That is exactly how I feel about this subject.
When you see the photo I have drawn of myself, you might think I am crazy or need extensive art lessons. Yes- it is in fact a stick figure drawing of how I see myself in the mirror everyday. Art is not my strong suit so cut me some slack but the stuff I pointed out are REAL things that I see with my eyes in the mirror.
I know I am not the only person who struggles with this. I am not the only person who changes 12 times before leaving the house and still wishes they could just stay home instead of having to deal with the social anxieties that come from feeling like everyone is starring at the imperfections. I am not the only person who wears workout clothes constantly, thinking people will just associate my baggy shirt and leggings with the fact that I probably just worked out. I wake up everyday and am SO thankful that leggings are actually a thing that people wear in public because if they weren’t, I probably wouldn’t leave the house.
Truth be told, this has always been something that I have struggled with and something that has gotten worse after birthing a child. I still have baby weight. Anyone else? My five year plan for that flat stomach went out the window a couple of months ago when Preslee’s birthday passed…so now I find myself hiding in my pantry, eating powdered donuts, telling myself to just embrace that jiggly belly. #yolo
But seriously, real talk. I have found something that has changed my life and my outlook on my body. I have tried every workout you can imagine. I have tried signing up for the nicest gym, I have tried a personal trainer, I have tried strict diets, I have tried yoga, P90x, Insanity, just to name a few. Then I found Barre3. Y’all…Barre3 has saved my life. I say that in the most dramatic way possible because I TRULY feel that way. I torment myself daily and fill every ounce of my body and mind with negative thoughts. Barre3 is the hardest workout I have experienced for not only my body but my mind. It challenges your mind more than your body in my opinion and it is exactly what I needed. I have been going to Barre3 for a little over three months now. My body is stronger than it has ever been, and my mind…my mind is stronger and more clear than I ever thought humanly possible.
So for all the girls out there who have fallen into a slump, for all the girls eating girl scout cookies while hiding in their pantry who have lost hope on just about everything to do with their bodies…I am talking to you. I mean, please, still treat yourself and eat those cookies but don’t hide. Balance is everything. Literally EVERYTHING. I encourage every person reading this to try a Barre3 workout (guys included). Every person deserves to love their body and be comfortable in the skin that they are in.
I still have my days where I am just not feeling it and I don’t want to leave the house because I feel like the world is starring at everything that I see wrong with me. Those things that I see though, are slowly going away and those days are becoming less frequent and for that alone, I am thankful. It is exhausting to always worry what other people think about you. Finding self love can be one of the most difficult journeys but there are others right there along side of you, myself included.
“No one is you….and that is your super power”