I know I don’t have to tell anyone this, but, man, the world is a tough place.
It’ll turn you cold in a heartbeat.
And if you’re like me, you also get to add in the fact that you are constantly overthinking any and all situations.
Anyone else ever feel like they get stuck in their own head?
I am so guilty of losing myself in a moment. Where I can’t find my way out of it for days.
That one time that you said too much, or that you played your hand a little too soon? Let’s play that over and over in our head for days and weeks on end and beat yourself up over it.
About a year ago, I decided I needed a change.
So I started a spiritual journey. It became a conscious effort to allow myself more time to heal, to try and stop beating myself up over things, I just wanted to be more in tune with what was happening around me and how that in turn, affected me internally.
But I went into this with the thought that the only way I could achieve this was if someone came in and saved me. I felt as if I was this hopeless being who needed saving to become who I wanted to be.
And I know so many people who think this same way.
It started just a year ago, but I recognized that my way of dealing and healing just wasn’t cutting it anymore. It just so happened at this same time, I started to see an amazing human being who was helping me to alleviate migraines.
It started it out with easy conversation and I think that we both knew that we were fighting the same battles in different ways.
He was exactly what I needed to encourage me down my path.
I started journaling, a few minutes every day. I started meditating. I stopped belittling myself. I began to understand that the most important conversations that I was having on a daily basis were the ones that I was having with myself.
Find that something that works for you, please. It could be anything, just anything that gets you out of your head for a little bit. When you find that outlet, it’s going to make a huge difference.
It took me some time but I know that I don’t need anyone to save me now.
And neither do you.
It’s true what they say, light does shine brighter in the dark.
Now, I bring my own light.
You, too, can bring your own light.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of days where the darkness tries to bury my light. There are days when it feels as if someone is trying to pull the rug out from under me. There are days when I try to pull the rug out from under myself, too.
But I am so better equipped to handle all of that now. I know how to show myself compassion, how to strip away the ugly thoughts and situations that my mind creates and treat myself with compassion.
I’m not the same person I was a year ago, but I’m taking the time to reflect on that and smile at how far I’ve come.
No, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine now. But I’m so thankful for all of the people that have stuck around for some dark times. The ones who have taught me that love isn’t a feeling. It’s an act of will. It’s a choice. Love is a choice. And it’s something you can choose to do every single day.
It’s not perfect, but it’s a start.
So when you find yourself questioning why people “put up with your sh**,” it’s that they’re acting out of compassion.
Your friends choose to love you despite the darkness that is or was.
And when you find yourself having a rough day, unable to get out of your head, treat yourself with that same compassion.
You can choose to love you despite the darkness that is or was.
You deserve every ounce of happiness in the world.
You deserve to be your own light.
So I hope you can make peace with your pain — with whatever it is that’s eating at you.
I genuinely do. So have compassion for yourself. Because you are magical and beautiful.
And me, well I am, too.